I’ve heard it, pretty much my whole life (pre-crash included), that actions speak louder than words, but since the crash, and being visibly disabled, it’s crystal clear. People, no matter who, pretty much will always say that they’ll help someone who needs it, but being asked to is easy. The true heroes are the people who see what they can do to help, and offer. They don’t assume that what they can do is needed, so they usually ask. The true heroes know that simply doing something for someone, without being asked, is usually somewhat insulting.
I used to think that I show that I’m useless, and didn’t correct them when they simply assumed that, which was bad. I’m trying to adjust my thinking to that they simply don’t know, and are trying their best. I honestly don’t know what’s the best way to tell people that.
On the whole, it’s hard to say “what’s right”, because how it’s received is like the injury itself, in that it’s unique to the individual. I’ve basically gotten used to accepting the fact that people want to help, so if they want to do something that I know I can do myself, I don’t do anything, and say thank you. If I objected, or acted badly, then that person might change from wanting to help, to someone who’d walk on by, thinking that they’d be annoyed.